No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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