What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A bitchslap is in order.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
