Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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