I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize