It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
