Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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