do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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