We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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