She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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