well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
