Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
