Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
