P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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