you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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