I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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