At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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