So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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