There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
