i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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