He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
