as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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