Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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