Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
