I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
