were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
