I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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