the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
