so that wasnt chicken after all
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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