You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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