are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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