i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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