I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize