the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
