I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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