I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
