when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
as a side note pls kill me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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