She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
