So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
