One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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