Non-Jews are for practice
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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