end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize