Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
