I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
