You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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