Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
