When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Even my vagina gasped.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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