Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize