I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
