My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's official drugs can't kill me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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