She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
