There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize