YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
