Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I bet he comes in French.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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