All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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